Fast Lane with Sara Jayne

I recently started writing a little health article for the local paper. Also, would like to share here.

Let’s say you are sitting in the park on a nice spring day. Some people had been there before you and had a picnic, they had left a piece of bread behind on the ground. As you sit there you watch the ants start going to work on the bread. So many ants marching up to the piece of bread and grabbing a piece to take it home to store. It is quite the operation. They are so methodical, take a piece, back home to store, go back for another piece. Lather, rinse, repeat. You could sit there and be mesmerized by this process. The ants work together to reach their common goal. Why do we, as humans, seem to think we need to do things all on our own? Why do we think that we can make life changes without support? Can we do this? Yes, we can. However, it is better to have support. There could have been one ant that decided to take that bread apart piece by piece but that would have been...

What if this is enough?

What if we woke up in the morning, looked in the mirror and liked what we saw? What if we weren't judging the latest hair cut that is too short? What if we didn't hate the gray hair coming through? What if we liked how we fit into our jeans and not judging how our clothes fit? What if we looked in the mirror and we were happy with who we really were?

What if we were happy with the house we lived in? What if we were satisfied with the car we drive? What if we weren't constantly thinking about the bathroom remodel that will make our home better? What if we weren't thinking about needing a vacation because we are just so stressed out? What if we woke up in the morning, liked what we saw, were thankful for our home, our vehicle and our job? 

What if we finally gave ourselves credit for all that we have done and all that we continue to do? What if we stop judging ourselves and actual live in the moment and that moment is happiness? How many people live for...

"It will get better."

A few words to try and help people deal with their grief. Three words that are meant to console but three words that might not be received too well.

Grief to me is like a fingerprint. It is unique to each of us. None of us respond to grief in the same way because we all process things differently. The loss of a person is devastating. It is devastating to watch a loved one suffer. It is devastating to have a sudden loss of someone. One is not easier than the other. It might be a slight relief to not watch your loved one suffer any longer, but it does not make the pain any less.

For awhile I didn't know how to respond to grief. I remember telling someone at one point how I hadn't lost a close loved one. They said "Well, it might get rough for awhile because you could lose everyone at once." I was shocked at those words and never thought about losing one of my loved ones, nevertheless more than one at a time. 

For a long time, I didn't know how to react to...

I am exhausted of everyone trying to normalize and judge everything. I'm not going to get deep into specific topics that I don't know much about so I'm going to go with an obvious topic that you have definitely heard people talking about.

I am tired of people trying to make being skinny normal. It's not. It is someone's body shape. Maybe they have that body shape because they really watch what they eat. Maybe they have tried to gain wait for years and are unable to and it bothers them that they are thin.

I am tired of people trying to make being not skinny normal. It's not. It's a body shape. I'm not talking about people being overweight because again, maybe some people have a hard time losing weight and they have a larger frame.  I know people who eat very healthy and are judged for being overweight when in reality they are at the healthiest point thus far in their lives. Or, maybe there are people who eat extremely unhealthy and they are overweight, which, is their...

We go throughout life and usually are on autopilot with our daily tasks. We all have different daily schedules and sometimes our schedules may vary but there tends to be some predictability to it. There is some predictability to our daily lives throughout our whole lives. 

Have you ever thought about the supporting cast or extras in your life? If we think about our lives as a production, which technically they are, we have the main roles and we have supporting cast and we have extras. The main roles are people who we see a lot, know their backgrounds, know all the things about them and they about us. The supporting roles are the people who appear a lot, we don't know everything about them, they don't know everything about us, but we know enough about each other to make regular appearances. 

How about those extras? I want to focus on them for today. They are the people who are predictable, we see them a lot. Maybe we don't talk to them, or even really know them, but they...

"Why aren't you in school?"

"You done with school for the day?"

"Did you get out early today?"

All of the questions whenever people see my kids during school hours. Which is understandable because kids are supposed to be in school, Monday-Friday 8:30-3:30ish. So, it is odd when you see a kid during those hours not in their natural habitat. I used to ask this question all the time. Before I was really introduced to the homeschool life.

A few  years ago I had a surge of homeschool families in my chiropractic office. This was new territory for me. I was super unfamiliar with homeschool and what I did know wasn't super positive. People had pulled their kids out of school because they were bullied or there was maybe some type of incident at school. I had never known anyone to homeschool from the start or just up and pull their kids without having a legitimate reason.

I asked soooo many questions to the kids and the parents. I wanted to know it all....
Why did you choose to...

How many times have you read a bumper sticker/shirt/sign/anything that has text that says "Always Be Kind" or even "Always Bee Kind." There are many different spin offs as well, reminding you to be kind. I love reminders, in fact in order to function on a daily basis I need to have things written down or they aren't happening. Until it comes to my kind reminder.

I do not need a reminder to be kind, to be honest. And, I am not here telling you to be kind. You decide who you want to be and what you want to think. I want to discuss the times I really don't 'feel' like being kind.

Sounds nasty, doesn't it? Well, it's not. Let's dissect something that happened this evening. The Klein Family went out for supper. One of those stand in a line and tell them what you want kind of places. I will try to break this down real simply.

Person 1: Clearly doesn't care if they are there or not and did not give much thought to what was going on with each order.

Person 2: Didn't want to be there, super...

Why in the world do we hold ourselves to ridiculous standards? Maybe I should rephrase that to say, why in the world do I hold myself to ridiculous standards? But I know some of you reading this feel the exact same way. 

Why do we want to be good at all the things? And when we are not we are upset? When I say I want to be good at 'all the things' I mean, the things that are important to me. Not the things I 'should do' or 'have to do.' I am only talking about the things I have decided to take on in my life. 

Why am I upset when I'm lying in bed at night and then remember I saw it was "National Puppy Day" and I didn't post a photo of my dogs, clearly that must mean I don't like them, right? I am sure every single person I know on social media was absolutely appalled that they did not see a picture of my dogs....eye roll......

So, where does it come from? Where does the feeling of inadequacy come from? For me, it does not come from my friends or family, or strangers, because...

Yikes. The title of this blog post almost immediately gives me mom guilt. You know the kind where I am afraid of what other people are thinking when they read or hear such a thing? Because I know I should be 'that mom' who is always so happy and loves everyone and everything ALL. THE TIME. Oh, wait, that is not me. 

Having three children it is amusing to me how different they all are, even though they share the exact same parents and live in the exact same conditions. I am not a pushover mom. I am a mom with rules. I am not crazy strict, but I say "no" to my kids and I have no remorse about it. I am cool with having rules because I think my kids need limits. Hey, if you don't like limits and you like to do the free range parenting, you do you, no judgement from me, but rules are my jam. I'm not talking about everyone march to and from your destination or iron your underwear. I am talking about chores around the house and manners.

Remember having one child? When you are SOOOO...

I like to post on social media questions that my friends can answer. Not because I am nosy but because I can learn something from anyone. I like to see what other people are reading, I might find the next book to read. I like to have people vote on polls to see what they like. I find this entertaining. So yesterday, I posted about stepping outside of your comfort zone. Here is what I posted:

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone"